There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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