Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
