Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
