why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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