Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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