Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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