just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
