Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
