Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
