Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you win again, gameday.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
