So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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