It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
