Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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