Tell her she can't have a vagina
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
