come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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