Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
