We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He has the fingertips of a God
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