I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
