You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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