Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
