My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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