Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
