I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
