My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
