tell your sister to shave her snatch
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
