soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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