I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
