I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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