Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
