when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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