ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
