i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
