How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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