The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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