you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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