Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she peed on how many people?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
