my mouth tastes like poor choices
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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