Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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