just come out here and I will go home with you...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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