I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
