I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
