My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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