Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
