Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
