So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize
