hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
