is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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