my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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