Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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