thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
