Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
